An expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be a result in the future. Given that definition, expectations are the reality in which I operate my life.
Interestingly, the expectation is felt in the present moment. The event, situation, or circumstance has not even been established, and we momentarily feel the result instantly.
To live a healthy life, I need to recognize that an inner peace, an open mind, my character, and trust are factors that contribute to my well being. My perception is the lens of my reality.
My belief can be viewed as my rules about what something means. Beliefs or opinions are everywhere. I recognize that I get to choose what I want to believe and not infringe on others views.
This requires patience, understanding, or clarity about what is at my core. When I listen to others or myself, I notice the words, is, am, we, and are.
When I think about these words, they describe my global belief system. For example, I am a writer, I am a coach, we are learning; reading this blog is changing and questioning my perspective, and so on.
I am empowered when I can be aware of my language and those of others so I do not trap myself into someone else’s world view. I have been given that freedom or choice. You have that opportunity as well.
I have learned that no one has the power to speak I am for you. I am is the strongest creative word; and is the basis or perception on how I intend to behave. It is what you are.
Notice the words?
Frustration, anger, resentment, envy, jealousy are some negative states of mind that I want to limit or avoid.
When I was actively drinking, these emotions were dominate in my thinking and were felt so intensely, that I excessively drank to drown them. This was not a long term solution for wellness and soundness of mind.
As I mentioned previously, patience, understanding, and listening are needed to make this transformation in expectation. When I expect something to be a certain way and do not see the immediate results, my rules are violated. This can lead me to certain emotions.
Fortunately, through a process of self discovery, self growth, and self care, I now can recognize these emotions and live my life today knowing that when they pop up, I can change my focus; by the questions I ask myself or change the way I am moving my body (physiology).
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.Victor E. Frankl
All of this is possible for the simple reason that today, I try not set unreasonable expectations of myself.
Of course, I plan, have big dreams, and want certain things to work. The difference is now I trust the opportunities of the day are guiding me into the direction I want to go.
I set the goal and leave the consequences to a power within me that I have nurtured, completely trust, and allows me to surrender the results to it.
I still have to perform the work and take action. I am still responsible and accountable for my thoughts and actions. Yet, my expectations or rules of getting there are more flexible. I stretch but don’t break.
Today, I have opened the door of the soul inward. My exceptions are my choice in how I want to proceed forward. There is a sense of spontaneity needed in fulfilling the expectation.
In a team environment like business or baseball, ideally every one is set on a mission. The objectives are to be as clear as possible in order to produce a desired outcome.
When a coach and leader can set the vision and allow each individual to perform at their best, successful results are produced.
Expectations are set and you march forward with faith or expectation trusting the outcome will be realized.
The bottom line is, whatever the consequences, win, lose, or draw, they are always up to me on how I interpret and evaluate the situation. This is assuming responsibility for my communication.
This freedom does not mean I don’t experience disappointment, anger, or other emotions; it means that I am the choice between my perception of my reality. What a gift. I no longer have to blame or keep a victim mind set.
I can dwell in the negativity of the result, or choose to ask myself a better question or adopt a new belief on how I want move ahead.
I now understand that perception creates duality. If I want unity, I must guard on my perception.
I can choose to forgive myself and others, which allows me to not stay stuck in an “emotional mud puddle” for very long.
I expect the best and do my best. That is all you can do. The outcome is merely my perception.