Anger

Yawning at Anger

Anger defined is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Living in today’s interconnected information world, there are countless opportunities to feed from the buffet of delightful entities, persons and media to generate this emotion..

How important is your mental wellness?

When we view the word anger, it is part of the human scene. The emotion is only a feeling backed by fear.

All of us are exposed daily to the temptation to engage in this feeling.

Here are some alternatives to express this emotion;

Anger

Synonyms & Antonyms

Synonyms: Noun

angriness, birse [chiefly Scottish], choler, furor, fury, indignation, irateness, ire, lividity, lividness, mad, madness, mood [archaic], outrage, rage, spleen, wrath, wrathfulness

Synonyms: Verb

enrage, incense, inflame (also enflame), infuriate, ire, mad, madden, outrage, rankle, rile, roil, steam up, tick off

Antonyms: Noun

delight, pleasure

Antonyms: Verb

delight, gratify, please


“Winners never quit.”

“A quitter never wins.

“Don’t be a quitter.”

What about deciding to quit excessive anger?

Anger irritates the soul. If prolonged, it eats away at the soul-body generating progressive resentment or illness.

Anger can adversely affect your health and relationships. It has been known to eat away at organ tissue, cause heart attacks, disrupt blood flow and corrode the psyche.

How do we get to the point of anger?

It seems that a personalized rules violation has occurred. Beliefs!

Something that suddenly gets your attention triggers in an instant reaction. When we understand ourselves, we can better understand others.

What’s the difference between responding and reacting?

Do you recognize that when you are hungry, tired or feel alone, the emotion labeled anger can be triggered?

What about the fact that people who are hurting like to hurt others?

If we simplified that emotions are either a call for love or a cry for help, what would that do to your mindset?

The pleasure – pain principle is evolutionarily wired into the brain even though there is an alternative.

The option is to live in a contemplative state in which you understand that underneath the perceptional mind world is 98% silence. We are the ones creating all the noise in our perception with the 2%.

It is one of nature’s tricks, little understood, that each day we awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday.

When we recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind, and in us, we become prepared to control whatever personality awakes in us each day.

The aim is to become master of my moods through positive action [thinking] and when I master my moods, I will control my destiny.

Remember that to “sin” means missing the mark. Where is your aim?

Can you see how describing the feeling with a word captures the emotion into a fixed crystallized state of mind?

When we label our emotions with language, we are identifying and becoming the emotion instead of just feeling them.

Language is the building block of reality.

What if we just allow the emotion? Witness it. Release it. Or better still, adjust our rules of engagement into understanding that everyone sees and interprets the world differently.

What if I told you that watching the news or engaging in social media is geared to stir the emotions of anger.

So, why are you choosing to watch it for continual periods of time?

The answer to this human dilemma is neither in abandoning caution or accepting conformity.

It is in recognizing the importance of re-learning [understanding]. The most important idea I have been able to embrace that resulted in personal growth and new found liberty is in two simple, though amazingly profound statements: “Not everything is right the way I first learned it!” and “This too shall pass.”

I must disavow what I ascertain is wrong. Then it is true. I am most alive when I exercise my own will.

Understanding that anger is a corrosive emotion which destroys in the present and transmits into the future can lead to awareness.

The present moment can be used for learning and understanding past wrongs, not to fuel resentment.

Anger can be likened to holding a smoldering coal in your hand to throw at another; all that accomplished is burning your own hand in the process.

When angered, blow by the emotion—Express it and shift quickly into a settled mind quickly. Forgive yourself for feeling it and forgive the circumstance or person instigating the emotion.

There are no wrong feelings only actions.

If possible, “vent” in private and express it. But don’t live in it and explode in front of others.

You will look back regretfully and say, “Was it really worth it?” In two weeks you might say, “was it that important?”

Understand that anger is a call to action for a new approach in perspective.

Therefore the individual who wishes to have an answer to the problem of anger, as it is posed today, has need, first and foremost of self knowledge, that is, the utmost possible knowledge of his own wholeness. He must know relentlessly how much good he can do, and what anger he is capable of, and must beware of regarding the one as real and the other as illusion. Both are elements within his nature, and both are bound to come to light in him, should he wish — as he ought — to live without self deception or self-delusion.

Dr. Carl Gustav Jung

Most of us are busier than we ought to be. At least our lives are crowded in such a way that frustration is becoming a normal and accepted mode of human experience and behavior.

Some time ago I found a new “translation” of the 23rd Psalm, called the Japanese Version, by Toki Miyashina. It helps me…and I want it to help you.

Japanese Version 23rd Psalm

“The Lord is my Pace setter, I shall not rush;

He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.

He provides me with images of stillness, which restore my serenity.

He leads me in the ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,

And His guidance is peace.

Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,

I will not fret, for His presence is here,

His all importance, will keep me in balance,

He prepares refreshments and renewal in the midst of my activity

By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquility.

My cup of joyous energy overflows,

Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruit of my hours, for I shall walk in the pace of my Lord and dwell in His house forever.”

Continue reading “Anger”

Character

Thought and Character

Silence is the cornerstone of Character. From the silence springs the thoughts that manifest.

The aphorism, “ As a man thinketh in his heart so is he,” not only embraces the whole of a man’s being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out into every circumstance of his or her life.  A man is literally what he thinks, the character being the complete sum of the thoughts contained.

As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love, and the lord of thought, man holds the key to every situation or circumstance of life and contains the transforming and regenerative agency by which he or she can make of herself what she wills.

Given this truth, character is the fluid process of molding one’s individuality.  Personality is what others perceive, individuality is what you are.  We have dominion of our thoughts and therefore dominion on how we choose to think and behave.  Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state.  But then, he or she is the foolish master who misgoverns his household.

Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.

James Allen

When we begin to reflect on our condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which our being is established, we then become the wise master, directing our energy with intelligence, and fashioning the thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discovery is totally a matter of application, self-analysis, and experience.  Only by much searching and mining can we become the maker of character, the molder of our life, and the builder of our destiny. 

We may unerringly prove, if we will watch, control, and alter our thoughts, tracing their effects upon ourself, upon others, and upon our life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, and utilizing every experience, even to the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of ourself, which is Understanding, Wisdom, Power.

In this direction, as in no other, is the law absolute that, “He that seeks, finds; and to him that knocks, it shall be opened;” for only by patience, practice, and careless importunity can a man enter the Door of the Temple of Knowledge.

The reality is is that character and competence drive everything in human behavior.  To nurture character and competence is the most high-leverage thing we can do to create empowerment.  But competence without character doesn’t inspire trust either.  Both character and competence are necessary to inspire trust.  And both are completely within our Circle of Influence.  

Character includes:

  • Integrity—the ability to walk your talk, a thorough interestedness of public, private and deep inner life around a balanced set of principles.
  • Maturity—the balance of courage and consideration that enables you to say what needs to be said, to give honest feedback, to address issues in a straightforward way, but with consideration and respect for the feelings, thoughts, and opinions of others.
  • Abundance Mentality—the paradigm that life is ever expanding, that there are an infinite number of third alternatives (in contrast to the paradigm  that life is a zero sum game, that the pie is only so large and if anyone else gets a piece, that means less for me).

Competence includes:

  • Technical Competence—the knowledge and skill to achieve the agreed-upon results, the ability to think through problems and look for new alternatives.
  • Conceptual Competence—the ability to see the big picture, to examine assumptions and shift perspectives.
  • Interdependent Competence—the ability to interact effectively with others, including the ability to listen, communicate, get to third alternatives, create win-win agreements, and work toward synergistic solutions, the ability to see and operate effectively and cooperatively in complete organizations and systems.

Character and competence are high-leverage areas of focus that make each of the other conditions possible.  The foundation is based in trust and one must be trustworthy and develop the attitudes and behaviors that instill trust in oneself and others.

Remain teachable.  Be so disciplined that the emotions of being alive, alert, awake, joyful, and enthusiastic are so evident, that we begin to demonstrate regardless of circumstances, situations, or moods.

In short, live a standard of excellence and commit to excellence.  Progress not perfection is the aim. Take responsibility for your character.

Sculptor, God, I am the stone.

Viktor Frankl

Referenced by James Allen, “As A Man Thinketh,” pages. 11-14. Stephen Covey, “First Things First,” pages, 241-242.