Anger

Yawning at Anger

Anger defined is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Living in today’s interconnected information world, there are countless opportunities to feed from the buffet of delightful entities, persons and media to generate this emotion..

How important is your mental wellness?

When we view the word anger, it is part of the human scene. The emotion is only a feeling backed by fear.

All of us are exposed daily to the temptation to engage in this feeling.

Here are some alternatives to express this emotion;

Anger

Synonyms & Antonyms

Synonyms: Noun

angriness, birse [chiefly Scottish], choler, furor, fury, indignation, irateness, ire, lividity, lividness, mad, madness, mood [archaic], outrage, rage, spleen, wrath, wrathfulness

Synonyms: Verb

enrage, incense, inflame (also enflame), infuriate, ire, mad, madden, outrage, rankle, rile, roil, steam up, tick off

Antonyms: Noun

delight, pleasure

Antonyms: Verb

delight, gratify, please


“Winners never quit.”

“A quitter never wins.

“Don’t be a quitter.”

What about deciding to quit excessive anger?

Anger irritates the soul. If prolonged, it eats away at the soul-body generating progressive resentment or illness.

Anger can adversely affect your health and relationships. It has been known to eat away at organ tissue, cause heart attacks, disrupt blood flow and corrode the psyche.

How do we get to the point of anger?

It seems that a personalized rules violation has occurred. Beliefs!

Something that suddenly gets your attention triggers in an instant reaction. When we understand ourselves, we can better understand others.

What’s the difference between responding and reacting?

Do you recognize that when you are hungry, tired or feel alone, the emotion labeled anger can be triggered?

What about the fact that people who are hurting like to hurt others?

If we simplified that emotions are either a call for love or a cry for help, what would that do to your mindset?

The pleasure – pain principle is evolutionarily wired into the brain even though there is an alternative.

The option is to live in a contemplative state in which you understand that underneath the perceptional mind world is 98% silence. We are the ones creating all the noise in our perception with the 2%.

It is one of nature’s tricks, little understood, that each day we awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday.

When we recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind, and in us, we become prepared to control whatever personality awakes in us each day.

The aim is to become master of my moods through positive action [thinking] and when I master my moods, I will control my destiny.

Remember that to “sin” means missing the mark. Where is your aim?

Can you see how describing the feeling with a word captures the emotion into a fixed crystallized state of mind?

When we label our emotions with language, we are identifying and becoming the emotion instead of just feeling them.

Language is the building block of reality.

What if we just allow the emotion? Witness it. Release it. Or better still, adjust our rules of engagement into understanding that everyone sees and interprets the world differently.

What if I told you that watching the news or engaging in social media is geared to stir the emotions of anger.

So, why are you choosing to watch it for continual periods of time?

The answer to this human dilemma is neither in abandoning caution or accepting conformity.

It is in recognizing the importance of re-learning [understanding]. The most important idea I have been able to embrace that resulted in personal growth and new found liberty is in two simple, though amazingly profound statements: “Not everything is right the way I first learned it!” and “This too shall pass.”

I must disavow what I ascertain is wrong. Then it is true. I am most alive when I exercise my own will.

Understanding that anger is a corrosive emotion which destroys in the present and transmits into the future can lead to awareness.

The present moment can be used for learning and understanding past wrongs, not to fuel resentment.

Anger can be likened to holding a smoldering coal in your hand to throw at another; all that accomplished is burning your own hand in the process.

When angered, blow by the emotion—Express it and shift quickly into a settled mind quickly. Forgive yourself for feeling it and forgive the circumstance or person instigating the emotion.

There are no wrong feelings only actions.

If possible, “vent” in private and express it. But don’t live in it and explode in front of others.

You will look back regretfully and say, “Was it really worth it?” In two weeks you might say, “was it that important?”

Understand that anger is a call to action for a new approach in perspective.

Therefore the individual who wishes to have an answer to the problem of anger, as it is posed today, has need, first and foremost of self knowledge, that is, the utmost possible knowledge of his own wholeness. He must know relentlessly how much good he can do, and what anger he is capable of, and must beware of regarding the one as real and the other as illusion. Both are elements within his nature, and both are bound to come to light in him, should he wish — as he ought — to live without self deception or self-delusion.

Dr. Carl Gustav Jung

Most of us are busier than we ought to be. At least our lives are crowded in such a way that frustration is becoming a normal and accepted mode of human experience and behavior.

Some time ago I found a new “translation” of the 23rd Psalm, called the Japanese Version, by Toki Miyashina. It helps me…and I want it to help you.

Japanese Version 23rd Psalm

“The Lord is my Pace setter, I shall not rush;

He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.

He provides me with images of stillness, which restore my serenity.

He leads me in the ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,

And His guidance is peace.

Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,

I will not fret, for His presence is here,

His all importance, will keep me in balance,

He prepares refreshments and renewal in the midst of my activity

By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquility.

My cup of joyous energy overflows,

Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruit of my hours, for I shall walk in the pace of my Lord and dwell in His house forever.”

Continue reading “Anger”

Humility

The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.

Carl Gustav Jung

Humility is self esteem based in wholeness and fulfillment.

Humility is the acceptance of myself and my shortcomings.

I used to live two different lives, which forced my insides to be in conflict with my outsides.

Until I accepted and asked God to change me at depth, into establishing my spiritual nature and live in accordance to His Will for my life, I was unaware that I was operating solely on my ego.

Remember one aspect, that God is the image within. It is the invisible Power that runs the entire system, the universe.

The ego is into people pleasing, validation, approval, and confirmation amongst many other defects of character.

Understanding through a process of life experience, self discovery, self love, and self awareness, I am learning that my life is an evolution of humility.

Life presents to me opportunities everyday to exercise and witness humility. This is a beautiful gift because It brings me closer in union with God who is the orchestrater of my life.

When I live with humility, I recognize the behaviors and attributes that kept my ego in charge.

Fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, anger and control were the main root system of my ego. They still are a part of me, yet now I accept these feelings and go to a new choice of living with honesty, willingness, openness, love, acceptance, and trust that God is molding me into the person I was created to be.

Humility is letting go of concepts and modes of behavior and being able to transition through the process of change with a grateful attitude that even though I may not understand what to do, I must trust that the circumstance, person, place, or thing is molding my character to honor myself.

When I honor myself, I can honor others. When I come from a meaning that “I am good enough and can accept it,” I then move outward to others in a pleasing, kind, and cooperative manner.

Honestly viewing my character, good and bad; understanding that I know very little, modestly viewing myself as part of the greater whole, intuitively listening and trusting that still quiet voice within me, loving myself so I can love others, tolerating the behaviors and dispositions of myself and others, and yielding to a power that makes it all possible, these are qualities of humility.

Humility is strength. When I trust myself and am able to delegate and share with others, I experience humility.

Life also manifests humility in me. One such way is loss. Loss of health, wealth, relationships, loved ones including our animal friends, has an impact on the meaning I interpret life from.

Our being is a manifestation of meaning.

These experiences allow me to create and shift my attitude into a meaning that enriches my life.

When I understand pride, bravado, selfishness, and egoism are a part of my make up, I can transform myself by viewing these states of consciousness with an open, still, and loving heart.

Humility requires patience for the process of life and the unfoldment of my character. When I can admit that I made a mistake and release perfectionism for outcomes, I can strive for excellence instead.

People are imperfect, that is why we are human. The ideal is not lost, only the measure on how I interpret perfection does.

Asking is imagining. When I humbly ask with no attachment on the outcome, I am given all that I need. Maybe not what I want, but what I need.

My purpose is to discover a meaning for my life that includes the sharing with others, then pride is shifted to self worth, which operates under the power of faith.

With this understanding, I can now personalize my experience and live with integrity. I can have my insides match my outside.

I no longer desire to find my happiness or relevance in an another. I must live within myself. This s where joy is found.

Only then does my ego or “I,” shrink to its proper perspective. I am a part of the equation of life, not the whole solution.

Now my psychology, relationship, and spirituality are in harmony. My thoughts, judgments, and decisions include the cooperation, not competition with the outside world. I compete with myself to become better today than I was yesterday.

Better today so I can be better tomorrow. This is humility for me today. A work in progress not perfection.

Character

Thought and Character

Silence is the cornerstone of Character. From the silence springs the thoughts that manifest.

The aphorism, “ As a man thinketh in his heart so is he,” not only embraces the whole of a man’s being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out into every circumstance of his or her life.  A man is literally what he thinks, the character being the complete sum of the thoughts contained.

As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love, and the lord of thought, man holds the key to every situation or circumstance of life and contains the transforming and regenerative agency by which he or she can make of herself what she wills.

Given this truth, character is the fluid process of molding one’s individuality.  Personality is what others perceive, individuality is what you are.  We have dominion of our thoughts and therefore dominion on how we choose to think and behave.  Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state.  But then, he or she is the foolish master who misgoverns his household.

Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.

James Allen

When we begin to reflect on our condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which our being is established, we then become the wise master, directing our energy with intelligence, and fashioning the thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discovery is totally a matter of application, self-analysis, and experience.  Only by much searching and mining can we become the maker of character, the molder of our life, and the builder of our destiny. 

We may unerringly prove, if we will watch, control, and alter our thoughts, tracing their effects upon ourself, upon others, and upon our life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, and utilizing every experience, even to the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of ourself, which is Understanding, Wisdom, Power.

In this direction, as in no other, is the law absolute that, “He that seeks, finds; and to him that knocks, it shall be opened;” for only by patience, practice, and careless importunity can a man enter the Door of the Temple of Knowledge.

The reality is is that character and competence drive everything in human behavior.  To nurture character and competence is the most high-leverage thing we can do to create empowerment.  But competence without character doesn’t inspire trust either.  Both character and competence are necessary to inspire trust.  And both are completely within our Circle of Influence.  

Character includes:

  • Integrity—the ability to walk your talk, a thorough interestedness of public, private and deep inner life around a balanced set of principles.
  • Maturity—the balance of courage and consideration that enables you to say what needs to be said, to give honest feedback, to address issues in a straightforward way, but with consideration and respect for the feelings, thoughts, and opinions of others.
  • Abundance Mentality—the paradigm that life is ever expanding, that there are an infinite number of third alternatives (in contrast to the paradigm  that life is a zero sum game, that the pie is only so large and if anyone else gets a piece, that means less for me).

Competence includes:

  • Technical Competence—the knowledge and skill to achieve the agreed-upon results, the ability to think through problems and look for new alternatives.
  • Conceptual Competence—the ability to see the big picture, to examine assumptions and shift perspectives.
  • Interdependent Competence—the ability to interact effectively with others, including the ability to listen, communicate, get to third alternatives, create win-win agreements, and work toward synergistic solutions, the ability to see and operate effectively and cooperatively in complete organizations and systems.

Character and competence are high-leverage areas of focus that make each of the other conditions possible.  The foundation is based in trust and one must be trustworthy and develop the attitudes and behaviors that instill trust in oneself and others.

Remain teachable.  Be so disciplined that the emotions of being alive, alert, awake, joyful, and enthusiastic are so evident, that we begin to demonstrate regardless of circumstances, situations, or moods.

In short, live a standard of excellence and commit to excellence.  Progress not perfection is the aim. Take responsibility for your character.

Sculptor, God, I am the stone.

Viktor Frankl

Referenced by James Allen, “As A Man Thinketh,” pages. 11-14. Stephen Covey, “First Things First,” pages, 241-242.

Perceiving Thoughts

Evaluate where you are

Respond, do not react.

Keep two books; bible and notebook of ideas, philosophies and concepts.

I read the bible and newspaper everyday to see what both sides are up to.

The God of the Mountain is the same One in the Valley.

Dare to evaluate where you are.

Read the New England Primer – founding fathers book of Education and Character for 100 years.

What rings your joy bell?

Develop a Wall of Gratitude.

Encourage others.

Success has experience, judgment, and common sense as its major theme.

The healthiest of all human emotions is Gratitude.

What is life asking of you?

The people who do not take the first step, never take the second step.

Some think denial is a river in Egypt.

Failure is only a temporary change of direction to set you straight on your next success.

I have a brilliant memory, although it is very short.

I remember some difficult times where I felt like I was desperately struggling.

Study!

Believe in your work.

Life is one indivisible whole – you can’t do right in one area while attempting to do wrong in a different area.

Quality of Life is better than standard of living.

Enroll in Automobile University.

You sell everyday of your life.

Be patient with yourself: we are planting seeds and the harvest is worth the work.

I thought you were going to trickle in.

The important people go first.

I am glad to meet you; I shall remember this day as long as I will live.

There is difference between how things are and should be.

Thank you for our many blessings.

Grant our family good health and well-being.

Allow us to forgive and let go.

I am in the light after the tunnel.

Eventually everything merges into one and the river runs through it.

There is no middle ground.

I choose beauty, love, sensitivity, concern; the desire to touch all others, in a gentle, comforting, creative, healing way.

I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

We are all at different growth phases of human consciousness.

I know that teaching has high leverage opportunities.

I am living to giving.

Recontextualize

Sometimes people don’t change, but they need to catch up.

Nourish the memories.

I had a rough day, I bent my library card.

Self-talk is self-control, self direction, self responsibility in its most simple form.

Create new ways to represent increases in creative opportunities.

Much obliged.

Simple presence; open heart.

What is this place where thought is useless? Knowledge cannot fathom it.

It is small, expensive, and invaluable. Step up to it!

Ten percent of non-fiction books are not read past the first chapter.

Learn value vs. cost.

We hear what we listen for.

I was blinded by my commitment, I was stupid.

What do you do? I do nothing on the first date.

People don’t wait long enough to recognize each other again.

Do you want affirmations or useful information?

This is not an installment item. Live through a cloudy weather pattern.

There is not a blemish on my name or background.

Life is a gas. I can’t believe I get to do it.

If you can laugh as much as you cry; you can make it through life.

How about that!

You’re a legend in your own mind.

Try keeping my belly in bounds.

No, I don’t understand, at all.

Remembering is the mother of learning.

I am colorful!

Imagine that!

I like it!

She has my cell number, home number; but she does not have my hotel key.

All of Life can be conceived symbolically as One Grand Cycle (12).

By analogy, three important areas can be studied and compared within a circular framework: Human Life, Nature, and Astrology.

What is your favorite course to teach? My next one!

Imagine the vision of a time yet to come.

Peace!

Be strong now; be strong.

I appreciate the kind thoughts.

This is the only time there is. Be cheerful. Be enthusiastic.

Give to others…”you make a living by what you earn; you live a life by giving.”

Go to God first.

Harness and Channel the energy.

We are perfectly imperfect.

If you don’t bite the elephant, all the mosquitoes will.

That dame is one hell of a guy.

Get good; Get better: Be at your Best.

Can you keep a secret? Good, because so can I.

I am glad your mother is not here to hear you speak that way; thank God she’s dead. 😇

If you put my brains in a bird, it would fly backward.

I will give it some thought and let it marinate for awhile.

Seek to manifest the invisible, inspired self.

I feel it, I know it; I believe it.

Well, you were there, you saw it.

I feel I am destined to achieve some great thing; what it is I don’t know.

In my life, I have made many mistaken choices. I have selected persons, conditions, situations, thoughts, concepts, feelings. I have selected all manner of things to come and live in me; things that do not belong in me. There must be a way to erase or cancel these things which do not belong in my life. How? RENUNCIATION or simply Denial.

Organize the mind.

Alone means all one!

—-ooOoo—-

M.S.

Use F words

FEAR, FAITH, FORGIVE, Focus

Limiting beliefs affect even the most successful people. The first step to overcoming fear is to face them. If you can not make it go away, then dance with it.

What if fear meant Focused Energy Abandoning Reality? Maybe you’ve heard that fear is also False Evidence Appears Real.

Whatever the acronym, we all experience this sensation. Sometimes it’s best to do the challenge and other times it’s not. Both are an action.

The best speakers, leaders, writers all experience fear but do it anyway. Why? Maybe it’s faith that they are prepared and the steps ahead will be there.

Commitment, dedication, and trust in yourself establishes and reinforces belief.

My beliefs shape my decisions, my decisions shape my actions, my actions shape my attitude, my attitude is everything.

If my natural state of being or attitude is Joy, what gets in the way of that joy? Often times it’s the questions that I ask of myself. Questions determine focus.

If they are negative, I will feel negative, if they are positive I will feel positive. Being witness to thoughts is necessary to feeling the feelings I want to feel. It’s all an interpretation, so choose one that works for self and doesn’t dishonor others.

Be optimistically cautious. Projecting and trying to control the future can lead to anxiety and false expectations. In remaining in the present moment, all the resources are available, like breathing, clarity of focus, temperance, or acceptance.

Often worry and anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future, but rather trying to control it.

It’s important to learn how to detach or let go of outcomes which can conjure negative emotion.

Feelings of resentment and fear of separation permits you to perceive everything as a threat and seduce one to the dark side of its nature.

Darkness can consume you in FEAR, which leads to stagnation and eventually destruction.

THE POWER OF THE F-WORDS: FORGIVENESS AND FAITH

Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant. Cultivate other emotions, like passion and hunger in order to change your mindset and learn how to have a positive attitude in a lasting way.

Other than perhaps gratitude (which is the underpinning of both) no two human emotions have a greater impact on the quality of your life than forgiveness and faith.

We will always carry anger and hurt in our hearts as long as we have expectations of other people and life conditions we can’t control.

Forgiveness is really an understanding that the only person you hurt when you’re upset (no matter how justified it may be) is yourself. Even if everything in you wants to blame someone else, consider giving yourself the gift of forgiving your expectations.

This to me is the definition of responsibility. Responding to life with ability.

What would happen to your well being if you quickly forgave? What I mean is first forgive yourself for the thought before saying sorry to another?

You are now on the route and path of acceptance.

Acknowledge fear and replace it with the insight of awareness.

Hardest test in life is the patience to wait for the right moment.

Guatama Buddah

Optimism

St. Johns Bridge photographed by Martin Santos

Why choose optimism? 

It is an instant reflex these days for most of us to snatch the negative out of any situation, circumstance, condition or relationship.

The movement to avoid pain and gain pleasure is a systematic function of the brain. 

For centuries, man has been conditioned and evolved into the pain-pleasure principle.

The word optimism, is a mid -18th century French and Latin term meaning, “best thing.” It is the hopefulness and confidence about the successful outcome of something. It is also defined as a philosophical doctrine of “the best of both worlds.”

The opposite world is negativity.

A unity or balance must be established to form an equilibrium in the mind.

Relationships are constantly testing this harmonious dance of negative (pessimism) or positive (optimism). Think about how psychology and spirituality is bridged by relationships?

How?

It’s valid to assume that not all circumstances can be viewed with optimism.  As the Buddha exclaimed 5,000 years ago, “life is suffering.” 

With an established understanding, it is fair to be cautiously pessimistic or optimistic in our response to life. Yet a clearer awareness can be attained.

Optimism is primarily focused in the attitude pertaining to the present and future.  Its counterpart, skepticism, values the present and harkens back to the past for its reference to act.

It is a critical distinction to say both of these states of being, or attitude are both a call for action.

Action is not only movement or accomplishing a task at hand.  Many times no-action or patience (waiting) is more impactful and a driving force for change. 

Maybe our thoughts for optimism are an opportunity to transcend and reach higher levels of enlightenment?

Emotions

Our emotions can rule our thinking.  Pain can subdue our attitude.  Man has been given the ultimate freedom of will to choose.  

What questions are immediately raised in the mind? Sadness or gladness? Anger or fear? Loss or gain? Opportunity or challenge?

Questions control the focus of the mind; therefore, forcing ones actions to control ones thoughts is of paramount importance. Why continually say no to life when it feels so good to say yes?

The choice, the mindset is programmed into the mind by the word.  Actions speak louder than words in most cases.

The power of the spoken or written word have swayed our emotions into chaos or peace.  The renounced importance of language in the psyche are the building blocks and foundational axioms of values and beliefs.

Values, principles, beliefs determine the lens in which we perceive our world. Awareness, understanding, move the thought into action.

Being optimistic widens the field of perception to explore options, new questions and new possibilities. Pessimism limits the field, narrows and stagnates the process of moving ahead.

It’s interesting to note that optimism is also derived from optics. Most have heard the terminology that “optics” are important. They create a narrative which in the mind can influence behavior.

Fear is the result of pessimism.  It locks or paralyzes the mind into a form of spiritual death.  Yes, pessimism and negative thoughts are as destructive as pouring poison on the garden of the mind. 

In spite of everything is the will to meaning.  The meaning to choose optimism can propel you forward and allow you to meet obstacles or challenges with a renewed faith. 

Optimism, hope, confidence, determination are what the responsible man or woman can choose to live by. It fosters a unifying integrity that is unbendable, unshakable and indestructible.

Look for any opportunity as a blessing or a lesson.

Remember that pessimism is ultimately a choice. It is the difference between victim or victor.